Blimey, just as the wind’s picking up, the 5.3 sail’s tucked away right at the back of the bus’s storage compartment, deep beneath the other damp rags, the tools, an old two-man tent, last month’s sandwich from Lake Garda and a thousand other things I don’t need at all right now. “Too much stuff, eh? All right. I used to be like that too.” Ah, Pit Schnellinger – I’ve known him for years. He’s always got the latest, best kit, and at least two of everything, or even the whole range of boards and sails for a single model. I need him now like a hole in the head, that smart alec.
“What do you mean, ‘it used to be like that’?” “I’ve completely moved on from that. You just end up lugging far too much stuff about. ‘Downsizing’ is the order of the day, it’s right on trend. Less is more, you know?” “And how do you actually go about it?” “Radically cutting back on everything. Instead of 9 boards, I’ve now got just 6 – that’s more than enough – and only 6 masts instead of 10. Well, I’ve kept 4 booms, just in case.” “And what about the sails?” “Yeah, same there – just three left.” “Only three?” “Yes, of course – three per board, obviously. And the same goes for the fins: three per board are more than enough, and two in reserve for each, naturally.” “Makes sense.”
“Three suits are enough. It’s such a relief, you wouldn’t believe it. Just imagine, I’ve even sold my Diesel Qi 19 – that massive, over-the-top SUV of mine, complete with its equipment trailer. From an environmental point of view, it was a disaster anyway. I’ve bought a fully electric small lorry from Norway – just 7.5 tonnes – so that should sort out the carbon footprint as well.” “But what if you’re driving further afield and the battery runs out?” “Yeah, of course – that’s why I’ve got a portable diesel generator. I use it to charge the van myself wherever I am, then carry on driving on electric power. Brilliant, isn’t it?”
“Well, it’s all right, I suppose. And your holidays in Hawaii – they’re not exactly environmentally friendly either.” “I don’t do that anymore – it’s just not on. South Africa’s the only thing on my calendar now. Half the flight distance – another saving for the environment. Downsizing, lad, downsizing. You’ll see – less is more.” “There it is at last, the 5.3!” I knew it was lying back there somewhere. Unfortunately, though, someone else had started downsizing in the meantime – the wind. “Bloody hell, where’s my 9.5 now…….”
