You can tell just by looking at the German weather forecast. Whilst, for example, Italian weather presenters describe a small patch of rain as a brief interruption to the glorious weather, their German counterparts refer to it as a small ‘interim high’. An interim high! So just a brief ‘little high’ in between, interrupting the normal state of affairs – the ‘rubbish weather’. So, ahead of the weekend, our forecast is set: ‘It’s definitely going to rain again on Saturday and Sunday!’ And as for the disaster at the World Cup, we’d all known that was on the cards for ages anyway.
“German Angst” is what the rest of the world calls it, and German water sports enthusiasts with their boards and sails can’t exactly opt out of it. Even on their home waters, you hear the grumblers and sceptics: “April – have you ever experienced such a hot April? All the greenery’s dying. And not a breath of wind. And May’s far too cold! I bet the whole summer’s going to be rubbish.” Then it’s off on the Whitsun holiday. The mass exodus of German windsurfers heads – amongst other places – to Lake Garda. At 8 am, there’s a flurry of activity as everyone rigs up. The lake lies as smooth as glass. “No wind! Again! Same old story every day!” The grumblers are back. Sure, it’s hot, so there’s no chance of a northerly wind. But from 2 pm there’s a once-in-a-century Ora, and now it’s the other way round: “Bloody hell, far too much wind for my 7½. Nothing works here at all!!” Yes, that’s exactly how it is. Head to the Atlantic and you’ll always find a German who thinks the waves are too small. The next day, at high tide, they’re too big for him, and on top of that he’s got ants and sand in his campervan, and the pitch is too expensive and rubbish, and it stinks, and so on. “You’ll be packing up soon, won’t you?” “Nah, I’m staying another four weeks.”
Well, others have their own worries: “The beach’s completely deserted, mate – not a soul in sight. There’s bound to be something properly gross going on!” Or: “What on earth’s going on? It’s absolutely packed here, not a single spot to be had – a disaster, typical of abroad! And then there’s the wind from the left. From the left! What a rubbish spot!” At least it’ll come in from the right then… Hmm, we’re certainly not making ourselves any more popular with all this doom-mongering. Besides, it’s pretty daft to spoil your own free time, because nobody’s to blame for a lull or rain. So, let’s banish all the negativity – be open-minded, friendly and cheerful, otherwise the only positive thing this year will be the allergy test again.
