Aah, windsurfing! So beautiful. Being free, casual and relaxed, with funny guys, doing what you want, just like before, just like always. Finally at the spot. "THE Z-SPOT - PERFECTION FOR YOU" Aha. What, 25 euros for the car park? "Yes, with the electric car. Internal combustion cars pay 50." Diesel? "You can't get in here, man!" But hello, and entry only costs 40 euros if you're a member. It's quick, enter all your personal details, create 14 passwords, bank details, equipment and surfers are chipped, 500 euros contribution is debited immediately. In return, you get a discount on the vegan organic curry sausage at the snack bar - only 28.50. Perfection costs money. But now onto the water. "Hey, hey, hey! Not here, windsurfing is over there!" - "What?" - "Here is wing foiling, the next 100 metres is kitesurfing, then comes foil surfing, then kite foiling, then pump foiling and then windsurfing, right?" Ah, perfection. Hopefully the toilets are also organised so "perfectly".
Then you walk across the artificial turf along the yellow windsurfer line to the WS area. A 500 hp Zodiac patrols outside and will ticket you if it has blown you into the kitesurfing area as a wingfoiler, for example. First you'll get a yellow, if you repeat the offence you'll get an arse ticket. There are chic young people everywhere, caddies carry the equipment back and forth for them, monotonous boom booms from monster speakers, champagne corks pop in the Z-Lounge, rangers keep order. Paid admission? No smoking, old-fashioned jokes too, no aloha, only branded clothes. Leave equipment on the beach shelves for 25 euros per hour. The word "fin" is forbidden - cultural appropriation - and if you say "batten tensioner" you'll be kicked out immediately. Man, Perfection is okay, but I can't handle this. It costs a lot of money, who's going to pay for it? "Our parents, what else have they worked all their lives for?"
Bang! Someone bangs on the roof of my car with the flat of their hand. "Hey, you're sitting in the car and sleeping!" Wow, surf mate Manni, I must have dozed off a bit. "Let's go then, as always!" As always, yay, as always is good.
More from Tommy Brandner:
- Under-80s or over-80s? Diets for windsurfers
- A visit to the tuning workshop for windsurfers
- Motorhome for beginners
- Attention drone!
- Through the shorebreak
- The avalanche of traffic jams is rolling again
- Happy B-Day, King!
- Used is still too expensive
- That was 2023
- To foil or not to foil
- Faster, faster, faster... or: Who is this Lüderitz anyway?
- Windy stories
- The handsome Hansi
- AI hysteria
- News from the Spocht
- Get fit without training
- Madhouse on the beach
- What do fish actually think about windsurfers?
- Loop into the headline
- Great season!
- How to get on the surf cover - or not
